Worth more than Rubies?

The other day  I was listening to a Joyce Meyers sermon called Overcoming a bad mood. And boy oh boy was I in a bad mood that day. I knew I had a choice to either continue to react or choose respond to my anger that day, I knew it was a test. I knew too the reaction I was speaking of was on a very personal level. I needed to choose my response in how I was thinking instead of going on and on reacting to how I was feeling. I had to stop the stinking thinking! It was only getting in the way, keeping me focused on my bad mood. So I chose to type in Joyce Meyers into Youtube and wouldn't you know that is the first one to appear: Overcoming a bad mood. 

I don't know what it is about Joyce Meyers, but she gets me! I love listening to her preach because I feel like she really gets the roller coaster of emotions women live under. Women don't get to choose to be emotional creatures. That is just the way we were designed. So all of us women have to learn how to overcome these waves and not be tossed around in the ocean by them. 

It can be hard to separate your emotions from your actions because for a while you think your emotions are what should drive your actions. But the truth is God's truth is what should drive your actions, regardless of how you feel. To do what you know is right regardless of how you feel can be very difficult. It literally causes a war between your flesh and your spirit. When this war starts within me I go into complain mode. And complain mode turns into frustration which turns into anger which turns into depression. I knew there had to be a way to overcome this, but I couldn't do it alone. I needed God and I needed an answer from Him. 

In this certain situation I had to know what I could do to not let it eat me alive. So I turned on the Joyce Meyers message and just listened. I humbled myself and admitted to God where I had been going wrong. He opened my eyes to let me see that sometimes when someone  chooses to do or say or believe something that I don't agree with, it doesn't mean they are rejecting me as a person.

I had felt so hurt and rejected in the past that I wasn't able to see that just because someone is going through something doesn't mean it is a rejection of me as a person. And when I start to open my eyes I see the present is nothing like the past.

So the question then became: Where was I searching for my self worth? 

The Bible says to look for our worth through the eyes of our Father. Samuel 16:7 says, "But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

I wasn't doing that. I was not looking at myself in that situation through God's eyes. I was being completely human and afraid. But God is so gentle and so kind. He lovingly reminded me how valued I was and how much He loved me. As I laid there, under the sun, listening to Joyce Meyers preach: She was saying, "God chose you, knowing every mistake you would ever make. But that isn't how he sees you. He sees you for the potential he knows you have. For who he created you to be" She reminded me how God adopted me into his family and made a good point about adoption. Saying that think about it: when two people choose to adopt a baby they are hand picking and choosing a baby. They want that baby so badly. In that same way God wants us so badly and adopts us into his family. It felt really good to be reminded that God really does love me and hand picked me for a his purpose here on earth.

After this beautiful reminder I was able to forgive myself and my loved one. I don't have to live in fear of rejection. And when I take that out of the equation it is amazing how much more loved I feel.