Fall Down 7 Get Up 8

I suffer from a common disease I think most females suffer from: Negative Body Image. Last week I had a friend over, she has three adorable, well behaved kids. They were over here playing in our kiddie pool when it started to thunder and rain. The kids excitedly got out of the pool and ran onto the covered porch for protection. As they were drying off and squealing I decided to take a few pics. (I love watching kids be kids!) When her oldest daughter who is about 9 noticed I had my camera out I noticed she went and got her cover up. Then a few minutes later she said something about being fat.

I can't remember exactly what she said now, but I remember being shocked that this nine year old girl was already aware and worried about her body image! 

She is a tiny thing, very active and has no fat on her. It made me so sad, she is so young, too young to be worried about such things. Yet the truth is I totally understand how she feels, her fears, worries and concerns. I totally understand the pressure the world puts on all of us females to be pretty and perfect. (whatever perfect is!) 

It is a disease of the mind.Once you start to let those types of thoughts seep into your brain it is very hard to stop. I don't know why it is so easy for one to criticize oneself, but it is and it is damaging. We need to reverse the cycle. We need to teach ourselves to build ourselves up instead of tearing ourselves down.

I have tried to do it on my own to only fail and fall harder into the trap. I have personally found that as a personal trainer I have put this pressure on myself to look perfect.To try my hardest to look like a figure competitor without actually being one. All that did was feed my vanity. 

At the same time there has been a battle going on in my relational life that also fed my vanity. Both were negative. I realized I had been placing my value in worth in what I physically had to offer. I was looking at my body and demanding perfection. I reached it...I lost as much weight as I could...and I still wasn't happy. I mean now what???

Another big change occurred...We moved....I was alone a lot more. I had been so focused on moving and packing and unpacking and organizing that I had stopped really working out. After three weeks of moving mayhem life started to settle down...yet honestly ... there was still an elephant in the room. One of those elephants that you are not responsible for, so until the person who is stands up and takes care of it there is really nothing you can do about it. 

So I ate...I didn't really realize how much I had been eating and not working out until I looked in the mirror and saw that I looked a lot different. In just a few months I had put back on 6 of the 10lbs I had lost. I felt gross and out of shape. 

I was in a really bad place for a few weeks. I was so confused as to why God had called me to move when nothing seemed to be what I had hoped and prayed for. It seemed like that elephant would never leave. I prayed and fasted and went to Lord for direction and guidance.

I want nothing more in this life then what He has planned for me. Even during my weakest, ugliest moment I just knew this wasn't God's plan for me. God wants me to prosper and be happy. Just like He wants that for you. He wants me to be physically healthy and eat healthy. I knew God had the answer and would teach me how to live and eat healthy. So through prayer God revealed to me the idea of writing a daily devo geared toward health and fitness. 

As I wrote Get God & Get Fit: Put God first in the area of you health and fitness! Let Him be your private personal trainer who helps you achieve your goals! (which took me more than 14 day lol!) something happened in me. I was transformed. As I handed my health and fitness over to God and let Him direct my steps, I took my worries, concerns and fears out of the equation.

I stopped looking in the mirror and seeing myself for the way the world told me to see myself and instead looked at myself through the eyes of God. I let him tell me what He thought and where I needed to make changes. 

For about a month now I have been working out in the morning 5 days a week. It is true if you don't get it done earlier in your day you more than likely won't get it done. Especially if you have kids! LOL I don't like to work out first thing in the morning, so I workout around 10 or 11 AM. So it is now a part of our routine and when the kids go outside and play I workout out on my front porch. It is a win - win!

Also I have stopped worrying about my diet. I know what is healthy and what is not. I try to choose the healthiest options within my budget but am not going to freak out about if it is organic or not anymore. I have seriously controled my snacking and have started drinking protein shakes again for breakfast. I have not lost all 6 pounds nor am I trying to. What my goal is : is to workout daily and eat healthy 80% of the time. I don't want to be ruled by the number on a scale or by comparing myself to an airbrushed photograph of a woman who has millions of dollars to spend on herself. I want to see myself for the way God sees me and love myself for who He created me to be.

God created me and I am here for His purpose. Not to look a certain way or to create my own self fulling prophesy. When I look at myself through His eyes I love the things about me that make me different. I love myself enough to want to workout and eat right.I have found the joy in working out again. I love my body for what it can do. I am grateful for my body and instead of wanting to change it into something it is not I just want to enhance it for what it already is!

I pray that Get God & Get Fit: Put God first in the area of you health and fitness! Let Him be your private personal trainer who helps you achieve your goals! can help others the way writing it has helped me. Allowing God to speak to me in this area of my life was powerful. I am more confident and actually have gotten a lot stronger over the past month! I have lost a few pounds, but I am now striving for balance and authenticity instead of perfection and a certain weight.