So, I got into a fight this afternoon with one of my boyfriend's
relative...through Facebook :( (boo). We are dealing with a very serious issue
that happened with his son. We are trying to handle it the best way we know
how. Well a certain family member doesn't like what we have decided and thinks she knows better. I have said
something to her before asking her to stay out and so has my boyfriend. She has not respected us in any way and due to that more people than necessary have been
hurt. (Got to love family drama) And it got to the point where I had no choice but to say something.
In all my years alive I have not ever felt so much
disrespect from someone who really had no right to be saying what she was
saying in the first place. I know for a season I am just going to have keep my
distance and go about my life. Its been a rough year for his family and we have
had a lot of hard times ourselves. Everyone needs time to heal. I am in a place
where I really need a chance to heal. Time to take care of myself. My boyfriend
and I need to rebuild trust and work on actually doing life together. I know I
need to find it in my heart to truly forgive his son and his aunt. And I
believe with time and peace that will come.
But for now its time to let go. I have learned over the
years to keep my mouth shut. That there are times when you have to walk away and let the water under the bridge. I had wanted to say something sooner than I did. But I
didn't. And being quiet paid off. The opportunity was presented to me in a way where I was able
to say what I needed to say without attacking...there was just no resolution. And
now I have confirmation that this is a time where I have to put all drama aside
and focus.
God has called me to do big things, and two weeks into my
own business (! yes my very own business!) I feel more confident and empowered.
I am dead serious when I say this. The few weeks of Beachbody Training has been
so inspiring and uplifting. It helped me today, even in a crazy situation, I
stayed on course. I didn't get too distracted and wouldn't fall for the game. I
was confident in where I stood and knew (and know) I have every right to stand
up for myself and for what is right. I know with all my heart what God has
called me to do. Right now I can't have distractions. Right now my mind can NOT
be clouded by emotional drama. God needs me focused and clear headed. I have
people to help, a family to raise and a big God to serve.
I know in time this whole mess can be worked out. But for
now it is what it is. And like our message in church this last week : I will
rest in the freedom of Christ. I will not fret in worry or anxiety as God works
this out. I know he makes all things, the good, the bad, the ugly work out for
the good for those that love him. We just sometimes have to sit back, be quiet,
stay focused on Christ and rest and let God be God and do what he does best! While I do what he has called me to do: Get my life on a better track.
Like Pastor Kerri asked on Sunday, "If you can't rest
are you truly free?"
So before I analyze this anymore and fret instead of rest: I lift it up to God and now it is time for me to put my mind at ease and rest in
His loving arms. Tomorrow is a new day! And today is almost done! (LOL)
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