Standing Firm

"Don't let anyone ever break your soul. You have to stand on your own two feet and stand up for yourself. There are those that would give anything to see you fail, but you must never give them the satisfaction. Hold head your head up high, smile, and stand your own ground." -Not known

"Personal power is the ability to stand on your own two feet with a smile on your face in the middle of a universe that contains a million ways to crush you." - J.Z. Colby

A dear friend of mine pointed out to me this morning, during one of the biggest storms of my life, that the enemy was out really out to get me. It shocked me for a second...to think of all of the attacks and disrespect that I have to deal with lately done by the Devil's hand to try to stop me...Me? It got my wheels spinning.

Why would the Devil care so much about what I do to try to stop me? ... Unless...It's not necessarily me he is trying to stop. It is the God in me he wants to prevent. If I was willing to be greedy and do things the enemy's way he would love to see me flourish. He would set me up so high just to watch me crash and burn twice as hard. He wants to prevent me from living out God's plan for me,to prevent me from working for a life that will not fail. He wants me to think I am not capable, no body likes me, I am a horrible person, that I don't have what it takes. That what I am working for is not possible.

Well, I have news for him: I am a child of God, the one true king Jesus Christ. The enemy can attack me all day long, and I won't budge. I will fold my arms and look him right in the face and call him out. I will stand firm on what I believe and what I know God has called me to do. I will stand firm and grounded in God's sovereignty and will over my life. I know I am meant to home school, which means I need to be at home. I know that I am now facing being a single mother of two, so I also need a way to make money. I know God has provided me a way to do both. Becoming a coach for Beachbody is scary yet completely thrilling. It is such a positive and uplifting position and at this moment in my life, where I feel like if I let go for one second my life might completely un-ravel. It is helping give me focus and intention and giving me something to hold onto. I am getting healthy again and finally starting to feel comfortable in my skin for the first time in about three years. I feel like I am finally starting to live for myself again and not just for the people around me. I will not fold or cower in the corner when the enemy comes in to try to knock me off course. When he tries to tell me I can't home school if I am single. Or that what I am doing isn't enough. I face all of these fears with confidence in my God that none of those factors truly matter. It doesn't matter if I am single, it doesn't matter what people say or think. If God  has called me to Home school and Coach then He will provide a way. And it may mean things getting re-adjusted and re-arranged. And maybe even loosing some things along the way.

Life looks a little fuzzy right now. Left is right, down is up...and I am trying to figure out which way I am going. I may feel scared but I won't act on it. I know better. If I stay focused on the good, on working hard, motivating, on being consistent and helping others the storm will soon pass. I may come out the other side with less than before. But I think that is ok. Because I believe in other ways I will come out with so much more.